Let the mocking begin !
by Jasper.Hale.Says.Relax
Summary: Alice gets the Cullens and Bella to switch names for a week! Normal Pairings. Rated T for no real reason except that I am insane.
1. New Names

Disclaimer : I don't own twilight or any of the characters in this story…..as much as I would like too….

I had spent enough time with the Cullen's to know that you could never prepare yourself for what would happen each day. Like today for example,

I was sitting on the large white couch with Edward, the TV was on but I paid no attention to it. I heard a shrill shriek come from the second floor. I jumped and fell off of the couch. Edward laughed a quiet laugh and helped me back up. "What happened" I asked him. He sighed and shook his head lightly "Nothing important, trust me." I smiled at him.

"Well it sure is annoying!" Alice complained as she gracefully danced down the stairs. "But don't you think that's going pretty far?" he answered her thoughts. She rolled her eyes "Come on! Just for a week!" she begged. I looked at Edward with a questioning expression, his shoulders just slumped. 

"Nobody is going to agree to this" he stated as she jumped around in excitement. "Will someone please tell me what's going on?" I asked. "Well Alice here is apparently bored of her name, so she has suggested we all trade names for a week" he told me unenthusiastically. "Ohh, ok, I guess" I said not really bothered by it. It might be kind of fun. Alice's face lit up with happiness. "Ha, ha, ha!" she laughed at Edward. "See some people think it could be fun!" she stated. "Well-" he started, but Alice was already trying to convince the others. In a matter of minutes the whole group was in the living room.

"Ok, now we need paper, a pencil, and a hat" she told herself and she darted to get the items. She was back in a second, quickly writing all of our names on the paper. She ripped each name out and put them in the hat. "Ok, so I am sure we all can get kind of tired of our own names right? It's been like 100 years with the same names. And I think we should switch it around a little. Ok, now the rules are when you pick a name your couple is assigned that couple. For instance if I pick Esme, Jasper and Myself would be Carlisle and Esme. And you have to act like them for the week. Mocking is allowed. And activities that your new couple name would do are mandatory. Got it?" she explained. Everyone nodded. "And this is for 1 week, ok?" everyone nodded again. Really I had no idea why we were doing this, but I agreed anyways. I wasn't about to upset her. That pixie scared me to death. "Carlisle, you first." she held the hat out to him and he pulled out a name. He sighed and closed his eyes. "Emmett" he said calmly. Emmett laughed loudly. "Alright, nice choice man!" Emmett complimented. We all laughed. "So that means Carlisle and Esme are now Emmett and Rosalie!" Alice said gleefully. "That means Emmett and Rosalie, you're next" Rosalie reached her hand into the large top hat. I wonder why she had that thing. "Eww, I guess that means we are Edward and Bella" she said disgustedly. Emmett guffawed "Yes!" he shouted and wrapped his arm around a very distraught Rosalie. Alice held out the hat to us and said "Alice and Jasper, pick your names" I grabbed Jasper's name and laughed. 

"Thanks Esme" I giggled. "One week everyone!" she yelled excitedly before everyone went to their own places. "So, Jasper, what shall we do now?" I asked before interrupting myself "Ooh shopping!" I tried to get gracefully off of the couch and jump around but I stumbled a few times. He laughed. "Well it's mandatory" he got up from the couch and grabbed my hand. We headed for the door and were cut off by "Edward and I." _Bella_ was on _Edward's_ back and they were obviously headed for the forest.

They stopped for a moment in front of us and _Bella_ jumped off of _Edward's_ back. They stood in front of us. I noticed that _Edward_ was wearing a coat sort of like my Edward's but much much much larger. _Bella _was wearing the plainest clothes I have seen her in. They were still more stylish than mine were, but close. _Edward_ tried to imitate my boyfriends way of running his had through his hair. I laughed "Well-" he said trying to imitate him again , his imitation velvet voice just sounded like he was talking under his breath "we are going for a walk , we will be back in approximately 1 hour and 13 minutes" he said in his 'velvet voice.' I giggled and _Jasper_ rolled his eyes. "Salutations Alice and Jasper" he nodded before _Bella_ tried to jump on his back again and fell.

"Oh my gosh! Are you okay , my love ?" he asked with fake concern. "Yeah , im fine" she said with fake embarrassment. We laughed slightly at the little show going on in front of us. He quickly slung her on his back and they ran off. We laughed and went to the Volvo. _Jasper _checked his pockets "Hmm" was all he said. I noticed on the passenger window of the car there was a little Ziploc taped to it. I opened the bag and took out the note that was inside. It read ;

_Dear Alice and Jasper ,_

_During this game your transportation has been _

_switched out also. _

_Don't try finding your key , Edward and Bella _

_already have them._

_Have Fun , _

_Esme and Carlisle_

"What does it say" he asked. I turned the bag over and the key fell into my hand. "Apparently we all switch cars too" I stated dangling the keys. We walked over to the bright yellow car and I gave the key to _Jasper. _Once we got into the car he revved the engine and said "Here we go !"

__________________________________________

**Hey , this is my first fanfic. Review and tell me what you think !!!**__

**REMEMBER :**

Edward - Jasper

Bella - Alice

Alice - Esme

Jasper - Carlisle

Rosalie - Bella

Emmett - Edward

Carlisle - Emmett

Esme - Rosalie__


	2. Day 2

**Salutations Everyone ! I would like to thank everyone who reviewed ! Thank you so much !**

**And to let everyone know , the names I have in italics are their 'new names'. Sorry for the underlining in the last chapter , Word was being stupid. So , yeah…anyway**

**On with the show ……..or story…….or fanfic…..**

**Whatever lol**

**Disclaimer : If I were Stephenie Meyer , why would I be writing this ? ………….Exactly.**

Once we had arrived at the mall I was out of breath.

Let's just say that , that riding in that super fast scary speedingbullet of a car was the scariest 20 minutes of my life. And Im not kidding.Yes , I practically lived with a family of vampires. Yes , I have been hunted by vampires. Yes , I have been in numerous near-death experiences. But that car………

Currently I was sitting in my room reading.

"Night Bells_" _my dad yelled. "Goodnight" I yelled and seconds later I heard the door to his room close.

A few minutes later I heard a voice beside me. "Good evening Alice" _Jasper _said faking a little southern accent. I laughed "Why hello Jasper" he moved and sat on the edge of my bed. "What are we reading this fine evening ?" he looked over at my book. "Wuthering heights" I said sheepishly. "Ahh, good choice ma'am"I rolled my eyes. I had read this book a million times , for some reason I was drawn to it.

When I had gotten to the beginning of the next chapterI put my bookmark in. I yawned loudly.

He laughed. "Go to sleep , we have lots of mocking to do tomorrow" he tried to say seriously , probably thinking of all the things we could make fun of them for. I closed my eyes and I fell asleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I woke up the next morning and _Jasper _was sitting in my rocking chair. I sat up in my bed.

Ahh summer , wonderful summer.

Summer meant no school and no school meant more time with Edward and everyone else! "Good Morning Jazzy" I said trying to sound peppy. He laughed "Good Morning Alice" he said using the funny accent. "Human moment ?" I asked knowing he wouldn't say no. I grabbed some clothes that _Bella_ had bought for me recently. I figured they would work. I walked to the bathroom and got ready.

I came back into the room to find _Jasper_ had not moved at all. No big surprise there. "Shall we" he asked suddenly standing by my side , his arm extended. "We shall" I giggled interlocking my arm with his. We rode 'slowly' in the scary car to the Cullen's house. We got there to find _Esme_ skipping around the flower beds singing like a little kid laughing hysterically. _Emmett _and_ Rosalie _stood on the porch with their arms crossed across their chests. They shook their heads slowly and went back inside. _Esme _couldn't stop laughing even when she stopped skipping and mocking._ "_Hello my children" she greeted us. "Why Alice , you look lovely today my dear" she giggled. "Thanks , Mom !" I used a very loud and shrilly voice. Her eyes narrowed at me , _Jasper _fake coughed and she stopped. We both looked at him in question and confusion

"Why did you just do that ?" she asked him and I laughed. "What ?" he asked avoiding it. "Fake cough , it doesn't even make any sense ! We don't just cough randomly !" her voice got louder as she went on. "Well I-" he started "Uh-Uh-UH ! That was really-" she had just realized what she was doing

"oops , I mean , MOMMY LOVES YOU !" she hugged us and skipped off inside. "I'm kind of scared to go inside , is it worse ?" I asked _Jasper_. "Like you wouldn't believe" he shook his head. "What are Edward and Bella doing ?" I asked frantically.

"You'll see , and its not just them" he said laughing.

We walked in the door and I saw _Edward _and_ Bella._

They were sitting at the piano and _Edward -_with a serious look on his face- played random notes and chords. Creating a off key melody. _Rosalie _gazed at him pretending to be 'dazzled' as he played. He stopped playing and turned to gaze at her. "Its for you" he said lovingly. "Aww , Edward ! I love it so much ! I love you !" she hugged him and fell off the piano bench. "Aww , I love you too my graceful love" he said helping her back up. We stood there laughing. _Edward _turned and saw us , pretending like he didn't know we were there he said "Salutations Alice and Jasper. What brings you here this lovely day ?" he said using his special voice. I laughed , he had added an English accent to his breathy voice "We live here" I told him. He lightly tapped his chin with his finger. "Ohh yes that's right. Sorry my friends." we laughed and as we walked up the stairs _Edward_ started playing again.

Let the mocking begin.

**Hey people , this chapter was not as good as the first one . But , the next chapter will be better ! YAY !**

**Lots of funny mocking in the next one ! Any ideas for a new title ? The current one makes no sense !**

**Thanks and Salutations !**

**~ .**


	3. Day 3 part 1

**Hey people ! Sorry I havent updated in awhile , I had writers block and I still do. So here is a little bit of the next chapter , until I can think of what to write next . SORRY !**

**And thank you very much to lollypopgirl98 who suggested the new title**

**Let the mocking begin !**

We sat in _Jasper's _room , talking about nothing of importance when _Esme _came bounding through the door. "Hey !" she exclaimed. Then she cocked her head towards the window and a loud crack of thunder rumbled. "Are you in ?" she asked. I didn't have to have super vampire powers to know she meant baseball. _Jasper _looked at me in question. I nodded enthusiastically. "Nice" she said and skipped out of the room. We headed for the garage and everyone was already there. The cars were already started and they were just putting the last piece of equipment into the trunk. "You ready yet ?" _Bella _asked impatiently from the Volvo. _Jasper _just glared at her.

I walked over to the porshce. I guess you could say I have kind of gotten used to the scary car. I hopped in the front seat and _Bella_ revved the engine of the Volvo. Seconds later _Jasper _got in the drivers seat and we drove towards the clearing. 


	4. Day 3 part 2

**Hey people ! Sorry I haven't updated in awhile !**

**This chapter basically finishes up the last one , nothing especially funny. Sorry ! I will be updating soon!**

**J**** ~JHSR**

B/_A _POV :

Currently I was making dinner for Charlie. _Jasper _had driven me home from the game about 45 minutes ago. The game was cut a little short due to certain circumstances. Near the end of the game they made me bat once. 'They' meaning _Edward _and_ Esme. _They whined and complained saying it was part of the mandatory name's activities. Even through my protests I still was forced up. _Esme _tossed the ball very lightly to me once and I couldn't hit it. She moved closer to me and my bat was switched out for a lighter one.

I tried to be distanced away enough from my watching audience behind me. I rested the tip of my bat on the ground , considering it weighed a lot. "Ready ?" _Esme_ asked me. I nodded my head and swung my bat into the air above my shoulder. Not my best move. On the swing back I hit _Bella_ in the face with the bat. How I even did that was a mystery to me. But then again , it was me. We all knew she was fine physically , but _Edward_ was still by her side in a millisecond, making sure she was ok. I apologized numerous times but it didn't help at all. The game had ended shortly after that.

R/_B_POV :

She hit me in the face with the bat. Seriously , could she be anymore of an idiot?

A/_E _POV :

Note to self; Never ever ever ever ever let her play baseball while she is human again. Ever.

B_/A _POV :

I was frying ground beef in a pan for tacos. I shuffled it around with a spatula , and a shot of hot grease came flying out. As I gracefully dodged out of the way , I ended up sitting on the kitchen floor. As I fell the spatula went flying out of my hands. I looked around me as I sat down. No sign of the spatula down here. "Y'okay there Bells ? " Charlie asked me as he walked into the kitchen. He held out his hand to help me get up. I grabbed it and got up. "Yeah , im fine." I told him. I walked around the kitchen looking for the spatula. I couldn't find it anywhere , so I just grabbed a new one. I stirred the meat a little slower this time. "Smells good" he said looking at the chopped vegetables. "Thanks?" I said quietly. "Let me know when its done , I'll be in here."

He jerked his thumb towards the living room as he slowly walked in to the other room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was brushing my wet hair after my shower. I walked on the cold wood floor across the hall to my room. Instead of _Jasper ,_ I found a note on my pillow. I sighed and walked over to it. In his elegant handwriting ;

_Dear Bella , _

_I am sorry to have to say that I will be _

_hunting tonight._

_I will be there in the morning._

_All my love , _

_Edward._

I had noticed he had used our real names. I guess he wanted to make it as sincere as possible. Yet , I already knew he meant it as much as possible. I was going to miss him tonight but I would get to see him tomorrow.

Just keep thinking positive. I yawned and crawled into my too warm bed. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.


End file.
